Math

Response to Instagram video:

Storytelling, Stereotypes, and Things You Shouldn’t Say Out Loud (But People Do Anyway)

You ever notice how everything is offensive these days? You can’t even tell a story without someone going, “Well, actually…”—and suddenly, you’re on trial for a crime you didn’t even know you committed.

So, writers and storytellers—what do they do? They observe, imitate, and describe. That’s it. That’s the job. And somehow, people think that’s racist.

“Oh, you wrote about someone from another culture? How dare you.”
“Oh, you didn’t write about them? Wow, so you’re ignoring them now?”

Make up your minds!

Observation? Apparently, that’s creepy now. “What are you staring at?”—I don’t know, mate, maybe the fact that you’re wearing Crocs and a suit jacket like a man with no clear life direction.

Imitation? Oh, that’s tricky. Some accents are fine—French? Fine. German? Go for it. Russian? Absolutely. But the moment you do an Asian accent, suddenly, you’re an international war criminal.

And describing people? Careful. If you get one detail wrong, congratulations—you’re now a cultural appropriator. Like, “Oh, you said his house had a shrine? That’s a stereotype!” Well, I was at his house and there was literally a shrine! What do you want from me?

But here’s the thing—bad storytelling does exist. Ever read a book where a foreign character is just the “wise old man” or “the feisty Latina”? Yeah, that’s lazy writing. That’s when you can tell the author’s entire research process was watching one episode of a telenovela and calling it a day.

Now, let’s get to the fourth point: people saying “I can’t do sports because I’m Jewish” or whatever version of that applies to their group. Some people say this stuff like it’s science. Like genetics came down and said, “Sorry, you’ve been assigned Accountant. No take-backs.”

And then, the fifth thing. Pretending not to understand a language. Oh, this is a great social experiment. You pretend not to speak English, and people relax. You’ll hear things like:

• “God, foreigners are everywhere.”

• “I bet he doesn’t even have a visa.”

• “Should we split the bill or just leave before he notices?”

Not always. Not most people. But too many people.

So here’s the deal: storytelling isn’t racist. Being bad at storytelling is. If you’re doing impressions and your character sounds like a rejected Disney villain, maybe—maybe—you need to rethink your approach.

Because once people stop laughing with you and start laughing at someone else? You’re not a comedian. You’re just a guy who thinks racial slurs count as punchlines.

And if you don’t believe me, go ahead—try telling that joke into a microphone. See how fast your Netflix special turns into a YouTube apology video.

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[pause]  . . .

“Anyway, those are my thoughts. If you were offended… well, at least now you know how it feels to be described badly in a novel.”

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