How to Order from Walmart and Keep Your Sanity Order what you need. Tell them no substitutions . They'll ignore you half the time. Sometimes you get lucky — a better item, a bonus. Other times you get screwed. Double-priced donuts. Worse. Expect it. Accept it. Pick delivery for the afternoon. Don't plan your day around it. It'll be three hours late. Always is. Order twice a week. Small orders. Thirty-five bucks each. Keep it lean. Keeps mistakes small too. Stock your shelf with things that last: canned corn, frozen vegetables if you have space. Otherwise canned. Canned soup. Pasta. Rice. Dry foods. Shelf-stable. They won't betray you. For short-term eating: Grapes. Blueberries. Celery. Green peppers. Onions. Potatoes. Carrots. Cabbage. Things you can trust for a few days without a fight. Remember: Frozen section is full. No room for dreams. Stick to the cans and bags and boxes for now. Live simple. Eat what won't rot. And wait three hours for it. How Your Foods ...